Pray for Connecticut

An elementary school. 18 children and 9 adults dead. The gunman, dead, is believed to be 18-20. What could have possibly caused him to do this? What could have been so bad in his life that he chose to take the lives of 27 others, so many of them innocent of any wrongdoing? I cannot even express how much my heart is hurting for the parents who have gotten phone calls that their children was killed or the family members of the 9 adults...even the shooter's family. In the coming days, pictures of those killed will come out. There will probably be some heroic stories of how someone gave their life to save another. We'll learn more about the gunman. We'll might hear stories about him and how no one could believe he could ever do something like this. And all I can do is pray. Wait - I can pray! I can pray that God comforts those who have lost someone in this tragedy! I can pray that he is with the gunman's family as they are struggling with the guilt of what their loved one has done! I can pray for all of those left behind and the innocent witnesses who do not understand why! I can pray that our country comes together for Connecticut in their time of need! I CAN PRAY! If you are reading this please join me in a prayer for all involved.

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come to you in grief and disbelief that someone could do this to their fellow man and especially to children. We ask for your comfort and grace over all involved. We ask that you also comfort the shooter's family as they are facing the unimaginable because of what their loved one did. We ask that you are with the children left behind some who saw more than innocent little eyes should ever have to see. We ask that you let us, as a country, to come together and help our fellow man. Lord, we may not ever understand why this tragedy happened but we know that you are in control. Help us, Lord.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

Insert catchy title here...

It's been over a month since I posted. That would require time to actually write. I have a short reprieve right now so I thought I would put down some thoughts. Rambling is fun.

1. I think I might be crazy!
Let me explain how. I work a full-time job. I am taking 9 hours this semester. I decided at the beginning of football season that I could also handle working the home OU Sooners games. After all, there are only 6. Someone should have slapped me and said remember that in November everything for every class is all going to be due at once, including group projects, which means getting said groups together! However, things have been working out in that respect. Group Project #1 is tonight so that is almost over. Group Project #2 is the Wednesday after Thanksgiving AFTER the final OU game. The group still needs to put everything together but we did get the draft turned in so at least we'll have some feedback to go off of. And then all that is left is finals. And, as I might have mentioned in my last several posts, only six more hours stand between my degree and me! Yes!

2. Obamacare
One of my group projects is over the Affordable Care Act. Didn't President Obama say that this wouldn't be a tax on the American people? Well, the Supreme Court said otherwise. Someone sure didn't think that one through considering that if you don't obtain insurance coverage by 2014 that you are penalized on your income taxes. Can anyone explain how that wasn't a tax? Yeah, that's what I thought. (My point to this don't tell me something isn't a tax when it clearly is...I don't care which side of the aisle you are on!)

3. 30 Days of Thankful
I am one of THOSE people doing the 30 days of thankful on Facebook. This is the first year I had decided to do it and to be honest I am glad I did. There's something about putting what you are thankful for out there for all to see to help you realize how truly blessed you really are! A person can go around telling people that they know they are blessed all they want, but until you list those blessings (on paper or Facebook or wherever) it can still seem surreal. So, with that said, I am thankful for being blessed!

4. Pinterest
Sigh. I have boards and boards of recipes I want to try, crafts I want to make and tons of things I would like to do to my house (the current one or a future one.) Whose dumb invention was Pinterest again? LOL. I hope to someday try a minimum of 25% of the things I have pinned. The good news is I have made some of the recipes so I have done .01%. It's a start...

5. Christmas ads
Christmas ads should be outlawed until the week of Thanksgiving. I realize we "have" to see their Black Friday commercials but they shouldn't begin showing them before Halloween (way to go Target!) It's bad enough that we've turned Christmas - the birth of our Lord and Savior - into a materialistic game of one-upmanship, but now we can't even take the time to be thankful for our blessings before being bombarded with buy everyone everything! With that said, I do enjoy giving gifts. I do enjoy seeing the faces of the little ones light up as they open something fun and cool. Most of all, I enjoy being with family.

Graduation

I applied for graduation this week. I am halfway done with the nine hours I am doing this semester and then I have six final hours in the Spring. Then I will have a Bachelor's of Business Administration in Human Resource Management and will be an alumni of the University of Central Oklahoma. The only problem with all of this? I don't know what I'm going to do next! Don't get me wrong, I am super excited. So, now what do I want to do? I know that I am going to stay at my current job through November 2013. I celebrate my 4-year anniversary next month and, at my job, you will be fully vested in the Teachers' Retirement System after five years. I figure that is a no brainer. So, then what? Do I stay working for the state? I'm the first to admit that the benefits are pretty great. Do I find a job in the private sector? The pay would probably be a little better. All I know is that I need to get some experience in my field. I still have some time to figure it all out. These are just the things I think about in my limited free time. I am just blessed to have such an awesome support system - my family, my friends and my church family.

Speaking of my church family, they are truly a blessing in my life. I am so happy to be a part of such a close-knit community of believers. St. Matthew UMC really feels like home. I love all of you so much! :-) I really enjoy when I get to spend time with my church family during worship, at church activities and when we have non-church things like fabulous Mary Kay parties. Thanks for always being there for me!

So, I guess this post is going to be short and sweet. I really thought I was going to have more to say about graduating. I think I am just so ready and yet still have a few more months to go. So, now I just want to thank everyone who has stood behind me during these last two years and tell you all how much I appreciate it!

Encouragement and Signs

Eric and I have been going to the gym for a few weeks now. Well, we made it the last two Mondays anyway. Saturday I woke up pretty early and decided to start my day at the gym. I went and did the elliptical for 20 minutes and every time someone came in I hoped they didn't look at me (the elliptical machines are RIGHT by the front door) as I do every time I am there. I am embarrassed about my outward appearance and I don't want all of those in-shape people looking at me huffing and puffing away. There was a slightly older lady on a machine a few down from me and when she finished she walked by and we made eye contact. She smiled. I returned her smile. I got off my machine and decided to do some of the leg machines. One of the machines was next to a mirror and while I was sitting there between reps I looked at myself. I thought I looked like a giant blob and was even more embarrassed, but I kept on. After a couple of more machines, I ended up on one right next to the lady from the elliptical. She smiled at me again and I smiled back again and we looked away. About 10 seconds later she looked at me again (I just happened to be facing her while getting the machine ready) and she said: "It will get easier and you will feel more comfortable coming here." I said that is what I was hoping for and she finished her reps as I started mine. We smiled once more and she went on her way. As I worked on controlling my reps I thought about what she had said and how it had made me feel instantly better. She must have been able to tell I was embarrassed but I believe that God put it on her heart to tell encourage me because He knew I needed to hear it. What a blessing that was and that blessing made it that much easier to get up and go the gym at 10 til 5 this morning.

I have been asking God for signs in regards to the house I have been trying to sell. I had recently started looking into a short sale option as my house is underwater and if we sell it traditionally we will have a hard time coming up with closing costs. I contacted a company that actually buys/assists people with the short sale for more information. We talked about why I couldn't rent it and he said that he had never heard of a bank actually calling the loan (i.e. I would have to come up with all I owe right then or the bank would foreclose) before and that if it happened to me I would be the first. I told him I would talk to my husband and if we decided on that route I would be in touch. Then, impulsively (I am never impulsive!), I decided to see if I could get in on Dave Ramsey's radio show and see what he had to say. I did and he told me to rent it. When I told him about the occupancy clause and all of that he said what are they going to do, call the loan? I told him that is what the letters had said and he said well let them. Rent it and if they call the loan then they are stupid but if they do then short sale it. So I guess that is what we are going to do. I figure two people saying very similar things in a span of 4 days is a sure sign from God. Praise the Lord!

School Time!

The fall semester begins Monday. I am really looking forward to it. It is going to be a really busy semester but hopefully that means it will go by quickly. I am taking nine hours while working full time. It was either nine hours this semester or nine hours next so I decided to do nine this time and coast to the finish line with just six hours next semester. That is right. I graduate in May of 2013 with my Bachelor's in Business Administration, Human Resource Management. Five more classes stand between me and that degree! Of course, then I have to decide where I would want to work but I am putting that off of my radar for now.

I have worked so hard for this. Working full time and going to school part time can be a tricky business. I have maintained a 3.90 GPA since I started back in the fall of 2010. Night classes followed by a 30 minute drive home sometimes become very tiresome. Never seeing my husband because of class or studying has been a real sacrifice. The housework definitely suffers (my hubby takes care of stuff but sometimes you just feel you have to do it yourself.) Thankfully, I have a wonderful support system. My boss for allowing me to skip lunch hours so I can leave early to study for a test and for helping me work around my school schedule. Thank you! My husband, who has become quite the cook, makes sure I study and do my homework and is so supportive of my dreams...and proud of me for trying to accomplish them. My parents and grandparents (and the rest of my wonderful family) who knew I could do it (but I am sure wished I had done it sooner!) And my dear friends and church family who always cheer me on and congratulate me when I get an A on a test I am sure I failed. So many students have no support system and I don't know how they do it other than their internal motivation!

I am truly blessed by the people in my life. I love you all.

Chaos

My life is feeling very chaotic and I need a purge. We have crap stuff we haven't seen in the two years we have been living in Eric's grandmother's house, but for some reason some members of the household feel we need to keep ALL of it! And on top of that we have kept most of her stuff because it was her stuff and we must keep it forever (please read between the lines at the sarcasm at the last part of that sentence.) I loved Eric's grandmother but she had So. Much. Stuff. I am pretty sure she kept everything she had ever bought since she had moved into that house. I absolutely LOVE some of the stuff she had. We have kept most of her dishes and some decorative stuff and her dresser, but not everything is my style and Eric doesn't really have a style. I feel like I can't breathe in that house sometimes because of stuff. I understand things with sentimental value but to keep EVERYTHING just because it was her's is not working for me. And then there is the stuff that is still in boxes from when we moved in. There are a few things stored in the garage that I want to keep, like my Willow Tree Angels, that we don't have any place to display them. But I gurantee a majority of those boxes could be emptied and taken to charity. I really need some order in my life. I really need some cleanliness in my life. I really don't want to fight with my husband about stuff being EVERYWHERE! I really want to be able to walk to where something is supposed to be and be able to find it. And I really wish I could pay someone to come and deal with my filing once a week (LOL!) With everything else going on in my life (two house payments, school, work, family) I really just wish that I had a haven away from the world. And my house doesn't fill like that right now. It feels like someplace I dread going because it is a pig sty. I think my husband finally understands my mindset. Now we have until August 20th to get it better organized before I start back to school. Maybe if I felt like I had that haven I wouldn't stress so much about the other things. I feel like a lot of this is my fault. Between work and school I have not had the energy to keep up with my house. I just think if we could get it to where we want it before school starts I won't feel like I need to have much energy to deal with it. Everything will FINALLY have it's place and I can get it when I need it and then put it back...instead of our current issue of having to try and find it because the last person who had it just laid it down where they were instead of taking 10 seconds to walk it back to its home. I am just as guilty of that as anyone. I have pinned several organization blogs to my Pinterest page. Now is a good time to read some of them.

***I am pretty sure I have been rambling and I apologize in advance if you can't follow. I just had to get it all off my chest!

My Dads and Grandpas (my belated Father's Day post)

Yes, the title reads my dads. I have two. One created me and the other raised me. I love them equally.

My Father - I would not exist without him. I had him until I was 7 when the Lord called him home. I remember but sadly, as 24 years have passed, the memories grow dim. I remember that he made me a Coke float once only to have to eat it himself along with his because I didn't like it. I remember him giving me adult Pepto Bismo because my stomach hurt when my mom was in South Korea with a friend. I remember being in out living room in Manila, The Philippines and him showing me a picture in the paper of the boat that was bringing your car and some of our bigger stuff to us. I remember telling him not to say the s word and he told me all he had said was shoot. I remember that when my mom, brother and I came back to the States and he had to stay behind him calling us. And I vividly remember the day the men came. There was a white-haired man in a suit and a big, black older policeman. I answered the door in my pajamas and when mom came to the door I got in trouble for doing so. I went back to the couch where I had been watching cartoons and the policeman came and talked to me. Mom went on the porch with the white-haired man. My mom must not have latched the door because she fell through the door and landed on the hope chest that was sitting there and was weeping. This frightened me and I threw my blanket over my head and started crying and the policeman hugged me tight and told me everything would be okay. I still didn't know my father was dead. I don't remember being told. I just remember this scene. I miss my father and occasionally wonder what my life would be like if he were here. However, it was God's plan to take him home and God gave me an amazing man to love me as his own daughter.

My Dad - my dad came into my life the same year my father died. My mother and father were divorced when he died and my mother had started dating before we got the news. The summer my father died, after the funeral in Washington D.C., my mother thought it was best to leave as in Pennsylvania with our paternal grandparents and other family. We all needed to grieve together. We were there six weeks and when we came home we met Calvin. I am pretty sure I called him Kevin that whole first day. This man gave me three amazing sisters so he knew just what to do with another girl. He came to my school functions and sporting events. He chaperoned dances and came to spelling bees. He was there for my crazy teenage years and was the typical dad. Mom would say ask your dad, dad would say ask your mom and I finally learned to go to dad first. If he said yes it was an ALMOST sure thing! He made us do yard work (I hated it!), he ate my cooking as I was learning. He picked out my first car (I really did love that purple pickup) and was there for my high school graduation, walked me part way down the aisle at my wedding (my brother walked me the first half to symbolize my father and we met dad who walked me the rest of the way.) He'll be at my college graduation next year. All of the things my father was unable to be at in human form (I know he is there in spirit) my dad stepped up and did. I love him so much and am so thankful God sent this gentle giant to us.

My Pap - oh the stories about Pap. He is one of my favorite people on this whole planet! He has a great sense of humor but doesn't take any nonsense either...and he is a sore loser at Uno! Haha! He used to make and sell glass and some of my most treasured items came from his basement shop. The cookie jar (the wooden lid was made by my great grandpap) and the glass with my name etched on it. I loved spending my summers with them. Last June I devoted a whole post to him so I will end this one with I love you Pap!

My Grandpa S. - He has been with God since my freshman year of high school. My mom always tells stories of him being a toughie but I remember him as fun-loving and giving. Once I asked him for $20 (didn't really need it...just wanted to see if he'd give it to me) and he whipped out his wallet and handed it to me. Unfortunately I did this in front of Mom and she made me give it back...she was mad that he didn't even ask me what I wanted it for! (BTW, Mom, if you are reading this you owe me $20! LOL) He was a member of the country club in his town and he used to let my brother and I drive the golf cart while he played golf. He lived in a small town and ran his own business. He also fought diabetes for a long time and sometimes his sugars would get low and we would have to get food into him. Once, after having a wreck, because of his diabetes, he came to stay at our house and I had to help him dress his wounds. He said I was the best nurse. I miss him and hope he gets to play golf all of the time in Heaven!

My Grandpa J. - he married my grandma the year I was born. At one time they lived off a lake in Arkansas and we would go up and spend some time. Their house overlooked the lake and I loved looking out the window and watching the boats and wildlife. If you looked outside in the early morning you could see deer grazing and for a while they had a peacock living on their hilltop. Grandpa would take us boating and we would spend hours jumping off the dock! Now they live closer but going to their house is still fun. He likes to read and play dominoes. He is well versed in many subjects and likes to watch sports. He loves his cats and is a fan of Apple computer products. He is a good man and I love him!

The joys of dog ownership

Disclaimer: If you have a weak stomach DO NOT read this post. Don't say I didn't warn you.

I love my dogs. They are wonderful creatures and my life would be boring and sometimes lonely without them. They make me laugh, keep me company and keep our yard cat free. But some things they do are disgusting! My dachshund, Oscar, is a hunter. I will never forget the day he caught and killed a mouse and brought it in the house to lay at my feet. He looked up at me with such a proud look on his face and I screamed bloody murder - at which point he dove under the bed terrified! I was living with my brother at the time and he had to come save me from the dead mouse. Once it was disposed of I had to coax Oscar out from under the bed and tell him good dog. Oscar has also caught a bird out of the air and killed it, has brought me a living, baby snake to the back door (this also involved some screams on my part), and is a ferocious spider killer (well wolf spiders anyway.)

Last week, I heard Eric yelling at Oscar in the backyard. I didn't think much of it seeing as how stubborn Oscar is and I assumed Eric was trying to get him in the house. It turns out Oscar was carrying a dead rat (yes RAT) around in his mouth. We assumed he killed it (doxies were, after all, bred originally to chase and kill badgers in their burrows.) Then, on Tuesday, I look outside and discover he has another rat. I ran out screaming at him to drop it, which he does, and as I looked at it I realize that he probably didn't kill it but that it was already dead (no teeth holes.) I chase the dogs inside and leave the rat in the yard for Eric to pick up when he gets home. He does. About this same time I see Oscar with something in his mouth but by the time Eric and I get out there whatever it was is gone. We turn to see Katie (the boxer) doing something out of character for her and sure enough she had the rat. We both yell at her to drop it, which was a bad idea, as she decides that means play and starts running from us. Unfortunately, the back door is open and she runs inside with Eric chasing her trying to get the rat out of her mouth. All I can see is the tail. I turn the corner to our room and she is in her kennel licking her chops. Yep, she swallowed it whole! Now I am really concerned because three dead rats in one week isn't normal and I fear that someone is poisoning them. I call our vet who tells us that she must be made to vomit. We go to the nearest emergency vet and $80 later we have a very sick dog and a very slobbery rat (which the vet disposed of.) Yuck!

Now it is decided that the dogs cannot go outside without us. Every time they go out one or both of us book it directly to the corner where the rats were coming from (in my neighbor's unmowed grass naturally.) On Wednesday Dora (the mutt) is messing with something near the fence. I go out and see what I think is a small, dead mouse. I yell at Eric to bring a bag out to pick it up and when he does it squeaks. We look at each other and look in the bag and sure enough it is a living, breathing baby rat...so young it doesn't even have it's eyes open! Now I am torn between disgust for the disease carrying rodent and heartbreak knowing that one of those dead rats we had picked up was probably this baby's mother. I want to tell Eric to get rid of it but then I am also thinking about bottle feeding the dang thing. I tell Eric to deal with it and when he comes back in he tells me he couldn't put it in the trash can alive so he crushed it's skull. I looked at him and dissolved into tears. It was just a defenseless baby after all but it probably would have died anyway, right? I am tearing up a little right now just thinking about it. Sigh.

Decisions, Decisions

Have you ever made a decision and then immediately after felt sick about it? Or maybe have a sense of dread about the whole situation? Some decisions cannot be undone and you have to live with the consequences. Others you are able to change your decision before any finality can take place. It certainly doesn't make life easier, does it?

I recently have been faced with a decision and we thought we had made the right one. But every time I think about it I just have no sense of peace. The decision hasn't been finalized yet so we can change our minds but that means other decisions. Some of you know I have been trying to sell our house in MWC. We have been paying two house payments since Eric's grandma died two years ago this month. We had a renter for awhile but that didn't work out because of our type of mortgage. I recently fired my realtor because I didn't feel she was working for me. I interviewed two other Realtors and both agreed that I probably couldn't get what I wanted for the house and would need a large amount of closing costs in the end. So, my husband and I talked and prayed and decided we would move back to MWC and sell the other house. I am not sure we were really listening to God though because every time I thought about moving and our dogs and all of our stuff I felt a sense of dread. Even when I was thinking of good things like I would be closer to work and school there was just never a sense of peace. So I started praying again. I talked to some family members. I had them pray with us. Then I emailed one of the Realtors we had met with. Even though he doesn't think we can get quite what we owe on it, he does think it could sell. I feel at peace with listing the house again. Eric and I talked this morning and we are going to be tightening our belts even more than before to come up with as much closing cost money as possible and IF I have to I will get a loan for the remainder...any way it goes God will provide.

This house had been a cause of stress for me and for us for far too long. It is a great little house but we have our reasons for wanting to stay in the other house. It will make a great starter house for a young couple just starting out or for a retired couple wanting to downsize. If anyone knows of anyone looking for a house in the MWC area leave me a message with an email in the comments and I will send you the information (once we have everything taken care of with the realtor tomorrow.) And I am going to ask a favor from anyone reading this: please pray that it will sell relatively quickly. My sanity may depend on it.

My Mom and Grandmas

For those of you who know my mom you know she is crazy...but in a good way! A few years ago I bought her a thing to go around her licsense plate that said "I tried to contain myself...but I escaped." She has proudly displayed that on her last two cars! She is a little bit OCD (okay a lot OCD) and has ADD. She can read my mind ESPECIALLY when I don't want her to and I hate it and love it at the same time! She is the most stubborn woman but will bend over backwards for something or someone she cares about. She is a walking contradiction which means you can never guess what will happen next. She can laugh at herself and make fun of herself and tries not to take things too serious. If she gets lost, which is often, she turns it into an adventure. Sometimes I am almost afraid to go anywhere with her if she is driving! She will take things right off of your plate if you get too close but will not let you get near her plate if she doesn't want to share. She has overcome enormous obstacles to become who she is today and I am so proud of her. I didn't inherit enough of her OCD (trust me on this...I am thinking of how we can hardly walk in our computer room right now) but I did get her drive and determination and I am very proud to call her my mother. Now if I could just get her to make plans in advance...

Grandma Kay. Or Sydney Kay depending on who she is talking too. She has four great-grandchildren now and they call her GiGi which I think is adorable. She inspires me. The woman is going to be 80 this year and still goes to the casino to play poker on Monday nights! I remember spending time at thier lake house on Beaver Lake in Arkansas. Between there and Pennsylvania I always had a busy summer! We would take the boat out, go fishing, go watch fireworks, go tubing and skiing. As she and grandpa got a little older it became more difficult to maintain and so they moved closer to us to Chickasha. I love that house in Chickasha...sometimes I wish they had chosen just a little bit closer so I could someday buy that house...but Chickasha is just too far from the city for a daily commute. However, I love spending time with her! We gossip about her daughter (yes my mom...it's fun!) I am so much like her. She was a nurse and I am always asking her questions about medical things. And anytime I have a garage sale she is right there helping me price and sell stuff. She used to buy and sell antiques and I enjoyed going to estate sales with her! And she is an amazing cook...nothing like Thanksgiving at Grandma's! When I finish school she is going to teach me to sew...so I can make my own curtains and we might just move up to pillows and we'll see what other creativity might seep out of me.

Grandma Eisler. Love that woman something fierce. She is my real dad's mom and I only get to see her once every couple of years when we go to Pennsylvania. I hope and pray that she and Pap can come down for my college graduation next year. She is a formidable woman with a quiet strength and gentle nature. But don't let that fool you. She can stand up with the best of them when she needs too! We are going to visit my Pennsylvania family in July and I cannot wait to get there!

As I read over the blurbs on these three special women in my life (I did notice the grammar errors and do not feel like fixing them...so leave me alone Grammar Nazi's!) I see how I am like them in distinct ways and proud to say that I am. I would not be who I am today without each of thier influences. So thank you Mom, Grandma Kay, and Grandma Eisler. I love you.

May 3rd, 1999: A reflection

May 3rd, 1999 started out as any normal day. I woke up to get ready for school. I was a senior, I had just a few weeks of class left, and it was my 18th birthday. A great day all around! As afternoon approached the talk of severe storms and possible tornadoes started. It is spring in Oklahoma after all, I thought. But I never imagined that it would be near me. How wrong I was! There was an outbreak across the state but nothing like the one that roared through my town destroying homes as it passed and going on to kill 44 people. In the neighborhood I live now you can see where the tornado crossed. New houses sit next door to older houses that weren't completely destroyed - either by the tornado or after being found structurally unsafe. The twister went on for 38 miles and spent 85 minutes on the ground. It destroyed over 2200 homes from Chickasha to Bridge Creek to Moore to Midwest City and Del City. My town actually didn't have some of the devastating damage some of the other areas did but I knew two people who had lost their homes.The aftermath of the destruction was terrific. Our school decided that students who could drive could leave school and go to churches to volunteer. People were dropping off donations at a rate that we almost couldn't keep up with. That day will never be forgotten by the people of Oklahoma. Nor will the Piedmont tornadoes of last year or the Woodward tornadoes of last month or any of the tornadoes that we have each year. Oklahomans are a strong group. We know to be prepared for any kind of weather at any time and we know we will survive if a twister destroys everything. Because we, us Okies, know that we have each other and we always will. And no tornado will ever destroy that bond. I love my state!

Photo Credit

Happy Birthday Hubby!

This day, some years ago, the hubby was born. And where would I be without my hubby? He is a wonderful guy. He can be sensitive but don't get in his way when there is an important sporting event on (and for those of you who know him all sporting events are important but none as much as when the Dallas Cowboys, the OU Sooners, the Atlanta Braves, the OKC Thunder or any version of golf...heck if it is on ESPN or Fox Sports it is important!) I now know more about sports than I ever wanted to and I watch more than I really would like to. But, I digress. I just wanted to spend a few minutes thanking Eric for all he does. He is supporting my dream to finish my degree and when I say supporting I mean he is doing a majority of the household work. Cooking - he does most of it. Cleaning house - he does most of it. Laundry - you guessed it...mostly him. Yard work - sure as heck isn't me! Somebody needs his help? He drops everything and goes and helps them. Wife needs something sweet. He runs to 7-Eleven to get me something. Crazy, psychotic, near finals wife needs a good cry. He lets me and then holds me. (All together now...aww!) He kills bugs for me (I am perfectly capable but I wouldn't want to take his chivalry from him), changes my oil and fills up my gas tank, and makes the weekly menu and grocery list. And don't even get me started on how kids and dogs love him. When he came into my life he "stole" my doxie and my best friend's son from me...it's like I didn't exist anymore! I once mentioned moving to Pennsylvania to be closer to my grandparents and he said he could never leave his nieces and nephews. A wonderful family man he is. I cannot wait to have kids with him (first psychotic wife has to get through school) because he will be a great dad. And that is my ode to my hubby whom I love!

This is an older pic but a good one of him with one of our niece's and nephew's.

In God's hands

I am feeling very overwhelmed. I am trying to get one house sold while keeping the other one up (and let's face it...I am not doing much of the keeping...that role has been delegated to the hubby.) I work 40 hours a week, go to school 9 hours and have 10+ hours of homework each week. Then, there are the family obligations plus Sunday School and church. I had really thought about giving up Sunday School but I can't abandon those kiddos. They teach me as much, if not more, than I could ever teach them. All of that, coupled with sleep apnea and my weight, leaves me exhausted. I am not sure I can take one more thing!

With all of that going on I am still trying to take the world on by myself. Why is it so hard to give it to God when I KNOW he will not let me fall? Oh there will be troubled times but he will still protect me. So, I must remember these verses when I am feeling overwhelmed.

Psalm 18:2 - The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. New Living Translation

Psalm 91:2 - This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust Him. New Living Translation

1 John 5: 14-15 - And this is our confidence, that if we pray according to his will, He will hear us, and give us what we ask for, because our desires are in agreement with His thoughts for us. New Living Translation

And finally a fitting song:

Seek ye first the kingdom of God
And his righteousness;
And all these things shall be added unto you.
Hallelu, Hallelujah

Ask, and it shall be given unto you;
Seek and ye shall find.
Knock, and the door will be opened unto you.
Hallelu, Hallelujah

All of these are encouraging reminders that if we seek out God in good times, and in bad, that He will be there for us! Just remember to thank Him for everything...thank Him for the trials that have enabled you to become who you are today...thank Him for the blessings you have recieved and the blessings you can bestow on others...thank Him for the gift of life you have been given and remember to live it for Him. I am reminding myself of these things daily as well.

Meanderings

Forgive me...I started typing and couldn't stop! So as a preamble I am telling you that none of these subjects have anything to do with one another...

I am sitting here watching basketball. And all I can think of is these guys get paid big bucks to play a game. And people (fans) take these games so seriously...my husband has cornered the market on yelling at the T.V. like they can hear him! Now, don't get me wrong, I like sports. I really enjoy football season - especially college football. And I love my Steelers also. However, it is still all just a game. Calm down folks!

I am trying to follow the Republican primaries but can't keep up. First, everyone loves Mitt, then they all love Newt and then when I took two different online quizzes to see who I should vote for I got Ron Paul! I actually can't vote in the Republican primary because I am a registered Democrat because I didn't understand anything about politics when I registered at age 18 and I put off changing my party and in Oklahoma you can't change your party affiliation in even number years. Go figure! All I know is I am pretty sure another 4 years of Obama is not what we need...but I'm still not sure if any of the Republicans would be any better...at least not the ones currently running.

I have four crazy dogs! One keeps jumping the 6-foot stockade fence, one thinks me saying go outside means run and hide under the bed (I always outsmart him after the fact...guess I should try and outsmart him before he gets to the bed!), one who thinks if she lays as flat as she can that we can't see her (she is black laying on khaki sheets...we can see her!) and one who can contort herself to fit through the holes in the fence. We need a new fence that is 8-foot! And, yet, at night they keep me warm and they are always great for a laugh. Without them my life would be boring!

This semester is going well but is definitely difficult. I am taking 9 hours and working full-time. I am taking Management Theory online and then on Monday nights have Fundamentals of Business Finance followed by Comparative Economic Systems on Tuesday/Thursday. I am going to have be very disciplined and have no room for procrastination!

Does anyone else think Valentine's Day was invented by Hallmark? Okay, I know that it really is a holiday for a saint but it definitely has been turned into more proof of the materialistic ideals of our society. I don't want flowers, chocolate or jewelry because Hallmark says I need it and I don't want my husband feeling pressured to make reservations at some restaurant to spend money that I could save for something I really want in the future. I like flowers, love chocolate and wouldn't mind a fancy diamond but because my hubby wants to give it to me...not because he thinks he HAS to do it.

Anticipation

UPDATED: Well, my realtor informed me that the people who looked at my house offered on another home. It's not like I was expecting an offer (definitely hoping) but now I am confused. Do I keep the house on the market now that we have had this random showing in the hopes that it sells or do I go ahead and move back into it?


I've been pretty giddy since about 11:30 this morning. Why, you might ask. Well, because that is when my realtor called me to tell me that there was a showing at the house I have for sale. Why is this making me giddy? Well, I didn't even know it was still on the market! WHAT?!? That's right, folks, didn't even know it was still for sale. The deal is we had recently decided we were going to move back into it and try to sell my husband's grandmother's house in as-in condition. The structure of the house is great but needs some renovations which is why we had moved into it and tried to sell our remodeled home. We put it on the market in October of 2010 and didn't have one single showing. Not one. We took it off of the market and rented it out until we found out we weren't supposed to have a renter based on our mortgage. Oops! At that point we saw it as a lost cause and thought we might be able to get out of the other house with an as-is or short sale. And, then, today the call. You have to understand that I have been looking to God for a sign to several prayers. If this house sells, it would be the answer to everyone of them in various ways. All I can now is to continue to pray that we get an offer. So, thank you Lord for working in mysterious ways. Thank you Lord for the new hope you have given me today with one phone call. Thank you Lord for teaching me patience and being responsible while waiting for Your answer. Thank you Lord for anticipation.

I don't understand...

A woman, missing for a month, was found dead in southeast Oklahoma City over the weekend. There are a couple of theories on her death - the most prevalent being the husband did it. However, that is not the point of this post. It turns out she was pregnant. Here is the headline from the local paper: Unborn child of woman found dead in OKC will be considered second homicide victim of 2012 (Read the full article here.)

So, let me get this straight...a person murders a woman who is pregnant and they will be (when found) charged with two homicides. A pregnant woman walks into an abortion clinic, terminates her child and it is her choice and right. Is that how it works? I am pro-life. I do not believe in terminating a pregnancy for any reason not even the mother's health. If a child is meant to be born then it will be. Period. I believe that my God has a reason for everything and the life of that unborn child is part of a plan. It is not up to you to decide when it will end! Thus my question, why are people who have abortions not charged for homicide? If a zygote, embryo, fetus can be considered living for a murder case where the mother dies (or in the cases where the baby dies and the mother survives) why, then, can a woman kill her own child and then get to go on her merry way?

I am not trying to be judgemental. If you have had an abortion then you are the one who has to live with your decision just as I have to live with my past decisions. I just wish someone could explain why the hypocrisy as to whether or not it is murder or choice. Anyone?