Looking for the Open Window...

Well, God seems to have closed that door.

I applied for a position at my work in the HR Department, which is what my degree is in (Human Resources Management.) It's a small department and the opening seemed to me like it was meant to be since I would be getting my degree right around the same time as I graduated. I interviewed and I thought that went well. However, I still knew it was a long shot since I have no experience. The call came today that someone else was selected. I was so appreciative that she took the time to call me before she sent the rejection email.

The thing is that that position fit perfectly into MY plan. I need to stay where I am through November so that I am fully vested in the retirement (you know...that magical 5 year mark.) However, I didn't really want to leave. I just knew I was meant to stay there and getting that position would have allowed me experience plus would have allowed me to stay where I am for a little longer term. I am pretty sure God was laughing. I must admit that every time I prayed about the job I finished it with Your will be done. That is a first for me. I kind of prefer things my own way. I jokingly (okay, okay...half-jokingly) tell my husband and brother that if they would just listen to me then their lives would be perfect. I bet God thinks the same of me.

I admit that I was upset after she called me. My boss was fully aware of me trying to get that position. She was, and is, very supportive of everything - me going to school and my future career. She was the first person I told and I was struggling to hold back tears. She told me how sorry she was and then said but that's good news for me. I had to laugh. I decided then and there that I was not going to let this drag me down. God has a purpose for my life and this job was not included in that purpose. So I will keep walking until I find the next door or the open window. Lord, I praise you through this and thank you for the blessings I do have - like a wonderful and supportive boss!

5 weeks and counting!

I am sure that anybody who actually reads this blog is sick of hearing (reading) about my graduation. However, I keep writing about it because it is basically the most important thing going on in my life right now. It has taken me so long to get to this point. I have felt failure, elation, fear (public speaking, anyone?!?), gratitude, relief (I didn't fail that test after all!) and have made some new friends. There were even days I wasn't sure I was going to make it through (4 times a week to Edmond last semester!) Now, it is just 5 short weeks from being over. I am still pretty stressed (of course everything is due at the same time!) but I can see that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel and I now know it isn't a train heading towards me! It is the finish line but also the starting line. The starting line towards a new career!

Sometimes I wish I had done it all differently. I wish I had known at 18 what I wanted to do with my life. But, that wasn't God's plan for me. He knew where I needed to be but I had to get there while stumbling...or else it might not have meant as much to me. And, had I not taken that wayward path I would not have met some of the most important people in my life. You know who you are! Wishing you had done things differently won't take you back. I have learned that all of the experiences since graduating high school have been for a reason...some reasons I am just now beginning to understand. Others not so much. I don't think we are supposed to understand everything.

So, in 5 short weeks, I am going to put on that navy blue gown and my cap with my drab (actual name...not kidding) tassel. I am going to line up with all of the other graduates and I am going to march into my graduation with a smile on my lips and joy in my heart! I am going to cross that stage and become a college graduate. And then I am going to have a party so that the people who are most important to me (with a few exceptions of those who cannot be here - I'll party with you in spirit!) can be hugged and thanked for their support, for their love and for their faith in me. Without which I may not have made it to this point!