Decisions, Decisions

Have you ever made a decision and then immediately after felt sick about it? Or maybe have a sense of dread about the whole situation? Some decisions cannot be undone and you have to live with the consequences. Others you are able to change your decision before any finality can take place. It certainly doesn't make life easier, does it?

I recently have been faced with a decision and we thought we had made the right one. But every time I think about it I just have no sense of peace. The decision hasn't been finalized yet so we can change our minds but that means other decisions. Some of you know I have been trying to sell our house in MWC. We have been paying two house payments since Eric's grandma died two years ago this month. We had a renter for awhile but that didn't work out because of our type of mortgage. I recently fired my realtor because I didn't feel she was working for me. I interviewed two other Realtors and both agreed that I probably couldn't get what I wanted for the house and would need a large amount of closing costs in the end. So, my husband and I talked and prayed and decided we would move back to MWC and sell the other house. I am not sure we were really listening to God though because every time I thought about moving and our dogs and all of our stuff I felt a sense of dread. Even when I was thinking of good things like I would be closer to work and school there was just never a sense of peace. So I started praying again. I talked to some family members. I had them pray with us. Then I emailed one of the Realtors we had met with. Even though he doesn't think we can get quite what we owe on it, he does think it could sell. I feel at peace with listing the house again. Eric and I talked this morning and we are going to be tightening our belts even more than before to come up with as much closing cost money as possible and IF I have to I will get a loan for the remainder...any way it goes God will provide.

This house had been a cause of stress for me and for us for far too long. It is a great little house but we have our reasons for wanting to stay in the other house. It will make a great starter house for a young couple just starting out or for a retired couple wanting to downsize. If anyone knows of anyone looking for a house in the MWC area leave me a message with an email in the comments and I will send you the information (once we have everything taken care of with the realtor tomorrow.) And I am going to ask a favor from anyone reading this: please pray that it will sell relatively quickly. My sanity may depend on it.

My Mom and Grandmas

For those of you who know my mom you know she is crazy...but in a good way! A few years ago I bought her a thing to go around her licsense plate that said "I tried to contain myself...but I escaped." She has proudly displayed that on her last two cars! She is a little bit OCD (okay a lot OCD) and has ADD. She can read my mind ESPECIALLY when I don't want her to and I hate it and love it at the same time! She is the most stubborn woman but will bend over backwards for something or someone she cares about. She is a walking contradiction which means you can never guess what will happen next. She can laugh at herself and make fun of herself and tries not to take things too serious. If she gets lost, which is often, she turns it into an adventure. Sometimes I am almost afraid to go anywhere with her if she is driving! She will take things right off of your plate if you get too close but will not let you get near her plate if she doesn't want to share. She has overcome enormous obstacles to become who she is today and I am so proud of her. I didn't inherit enough of her OCD (trust me on this...I am thinking of how we can hardly walk in our computer room right now) but I did get her drive and determination and I am very proud to call her my mother. Now if I could just get her to make plans in advance...

Grandma Kay. Or Sydney Kay depending on who she is talking too. She has four great-grandchildren now and they call her GiGi which I think is adorable. She inspires me. The woman is going to be 80 this year and still goes to the casino to play poker on Monday nights! I remember spending time at thier lake house on Beaver Lake in Arkansas. Between there and Pennsylvania I always had a busy summer! We would take the boat out, go fishing, go watch fireworks, go tubing and skiing. As she and grandpa got a little older it became more difficult to maintain and so they moved closer to us to Chickasha. I love that house in Chickasha...sometimes I wish they had chosen just a little bit closer so I could someday buy that house...but Chickasha is just too far from the city for a daily commute. However, I love spending time with her! We gossip about her daughter (yes my mom...it's fun!) I am so much like her. She was a nurse and I am always asking her questions about medical things. And anytime I have a garage sale she is right there helping me price and sell stuff. She used to buy and sell antiques and I enjoyed going to estate sales with her! And she is an amazing cook...nothing like Thanksgiving at Grandma's! When I finish school she is going to teach me to sew...so I can make my own curtains and we might just move up to pillows and we'll see what other creativity might seep out of me.

Grandma Eisler. Love that woman something fierce. She is my real dad's mom and I only get to see her once every couple of years when we go to Pennsylvania. I hope and pray that she and Pap can come down for my college graduation next year. She is a formidable woman with a quiet strength and gentle nature. But don't let that fool you. She can stand up with the best of them when she needs too! We are going to visit my Pennsylvania family in July and I cannot wait to get there!

As I read over the blurbs on these three special women in my life (I did notice the grammar errors and do not feel like fixing them...so leave me alone Grammar Nazi's!) I see how I am like them in distinct ways and proud to say that I am. I would not be who I am today without each of thier influences. So thank you Mom, Grandma Kay, and Grandma Eisler. I love you.

May 3rd, 1999: A reflection

May 3rd, 1999 started out as any normal day. I woke up to get ready for school. I was a senior, I had just a few weeks of class left, and it was my 18th birthday. A great day all around! As afternoon approached the talk of severe storms and possible tornadoes started. It is spring in Oklahoma after all, I thought. But I never imagined that it would be near me. How wrong I was! There was an outbreak across the state but nothing like the one that roared through my town destroying homes as it passed and going on to kill 44 people. In the neighborhood I live now you can see where the tornado crossed. New houses sit next door to older houses that weren't completely destroyed - either by the tornado or after being found structurally unsafe. The twister went on for 38 miles and spent 85 minutes on the ground. It destroyed over 2200 homes from Chickasha to Bridge Creek to Moore to Midwest City and Del City. My town actually didn't have some of the devastating damage some of the other areas did but I knew two people who had lost their homes.The aftermath of the destruction was terrific. Our school decided that students who could drive could leave school and go to churches to volunteer. People were dropping off donations at a rate that we almost couldn't keep up with. That day will never be forgotten by the people of Oklahoma. Nor will the Piedmont tornadoes of last year or the Woodward tornadoes of last month or any of the tornadoes that we have each year. Oklahomans are a strong group. We know to be prepared for any kind of weather at any time and we know we will survive if a twister destroys everything. Because we, us Okies, know that we have each other and we always will. And no tornado will ever destroy that bond. I love my state!

Photo Credit

Happy Birthday Hubby!

This day, some years ago, the hubby was born. And where would I be without my hubby? He is a wonderful guy. He can be sensitive but don't get in his way when there is an important sporting event on (and for those of you who know him all sporting events are important but none as much as when the Dallas Cowboys, the OU Sooners, the Atlanta Braves, the OKC Thunder or any version of golf...heck if it is on ESPN or Fox Sports it is important!) I now know more about sports than I ever wanted to and I watch more than I really would like to. But, I digress. I just wanted to spend a few minutes thanking Eric for all he does. He is supporting my dream to finish my degree and when I say supporting I mean he is doing a majority of the household work. Cooking - he does most of it. Cleaning house - he does most of it. Laundry - you guessed it...mostly him. Yard work - sure as heck isn't me! Somebody needs his help? He drops everything and goes and helps them. Wife needs something sweet. He runs to 7-Eleven to get me something. Crazy, psychotic, near finals wife needs a good cry. He lets me and then holds me. (All together now...aww!) He kills bugs for me (I am perfectly capable but I wouldn't want to take his chivalry from him), changes my oil and fills up my gas tank, and makes the weekly menu and grocery list. And don't even get me started on how kids and dogs love him. When he came into my life he "stole" my doxie and my best friend's son from me...it's like I didn't exist anymore! I once mentioned moving to Pennsylvania to be closer to my grandparents and he said he could never leave his nieces and nephews. A wonderful family man he is. I cannot wait to have kids with him (first psychotic wife has to get through school) because he will be a great dad. And that is my ode to my hubby whom I love!

This is an older pic but a good one of him with one of our niece's and nephew's.